Puffy Eyes

I'm exhausted, but have to tell this story. More because I just need to get it out, and they best way I know how is by writing it down.

So my niece is spending the night at my mom's house tonight. Ashley loves staying at Gigi's. It makes her sooo happy! She always says, "I wish we could put all hour houses together so we can have a HUGE house so we can all live together!"

Tonight we made almond cookies :) I had Ashley help, because she LOVES to help in the kitchen, and she's pretty good at it! So as we're getting the almonds ready, Ashley says, "Cece, are these California Almonds? I LOVE California almonds, and they lady said on tv that they're the best!" Not knowing the commercial I said "yes" to please the 4 year old. As we took the skins off the almonds, Ashley would say, "these California almonds are busting out of their skin! And some of these are busting on to the floor!! hahahahaha!" I thought it was the cutest thing for her to say "busting" she's SOO my niece :) We had fun making and eating cookies, and lo a behold it was LATE. WAY past her bedtime, so by now she's getting a little cranky pants.

So my sister takes her to get ready for bed. DRAMA occurs, after which I then take over and tell Ashley that I will put her to bed, this of course causes Mayhem and she's balling her eyes out, I mean completely balling. I tell her that I'm sorry, but this is what happens when we don't listen. Needless to say, Ashley still is having a break down, #1 because she doesn't have her "best friend Erin" putting her to sleep and #2 because by this time she is SOO SOO tired.

I finally convince her to go to her room and I'll read her a book, she's still sad Erin isn't putting her to bed, but Erin comes in to say goodnight, and that she loves her. Ashely doesn't understand why Erin isn't putting her to bed, and we explained that it's because of her behavior and now it's late and Erin has to do her homework. Ashley then says, "but I want Erin to still be my friend, why isn't she my friend anymore? Why doesn't anyone want to be my friend?" Perplexed, Erin and I both reassured Ashely that we each love her and are her friend, she says "ok, but no one at school wants to be my friend, I only have one friend at school and the other kids don't like me, why don't they want to by my friend? How come no one at school likes me?"

OMG!!!!! Talk about water in the eyes!!! So (as I'm completely teary eyed again) I spent about 45 minutes explaining friends to Ashley, and that we don't have to have all our friends in one spot. That it's ok to have only one friend at school and the others some other places.

--side note-- I remember crying about not having friends, tho I don't think that cam until 2nd or 3rd grade, NOT when I was 4!!!!!

How do you comfort a 4 year old, who believes her world is not fair, and that she has no friends? I am completely CRUSHED tonight from hearing my little niece say that to me. My heart is crumbled, and my eyes are filled with tears. I love this little girl with ALL my heart and more and I feel SOOOOOO helpless. I want everything for her, happiness, FRIENDS, EVERYTHING. I feel like I'm kinda getting a taste of "a mother's love."

Anyway, my EYES are PUFFY from crying over this and I'm not really sure what else to do. I feel like I sort of got through to Ashley about friends, and I'm hoping she goes to school somewhere different soon so she can be around different kids. (for the record, my mom and I are NOT fans of the school she's at, but she'll hopefully not be there for too much longer AND right now it's the place that 'just works' for all other reasons I won't get into)

So Ashley, if you read this one day, life isn't always easy, nor fair. People come into our lives for more reasons than we'll ever know. It's not about the quantity of friends you have, it's about the quality. The qualities that they have and the ones they bring out in you. I now that I may know a lot of people, but I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm ok with that, because they ones that I have I cherish with all my heart. I want you to know how beautiful you are, inside and out. I want you to know that we all have our trials and moments where we feel like our hopes and dreams have been shattered, but I'm always here for you, and you have a Heavenly Father who watches out for you and loves you dearly. I know that my daddy is looking down on you watching over you as well and hoping the best comes your way every day. Don't let the pebbles in life knock you down, and when you feel like there is a boulder that is too heavy, ask for help, there will always be someone there to help. I love you. <3 Cece

Up all night

I don't always find myself lost in a book. I've tried book clubs, but I, for one, do NOT read fast enough to keep up with the group. I DO however have a "Living Library."

"What is a Living Library?" you ask.

I respond with a sly "Jac-Attack of course!"

you have a verypuzzled look on your face and say, "Right...whatever you say."

I finish by explaining. A "Living Library" (in my own words), is someone who is your "go to" for book selections, or ideas of genres to read, or the modern day - real life "cliff notes," or the "you should read this book - and here's why" person, or "I'd have you read this book, but I'm not sure you'll LOVE it, so I'll tell you the brief summary and you tell me what you think." In other words, (since I'm sure this isn't making any sense) Jac-Attack, my girl who is AMAZING when it comes to books. Everything I've asked, she's read, or knows someone who's read, or has it on her 'to be read list' and still knows what the book my be about. She is BETTER than Google, BETTER than Amazon's or Barnes and Noble's 'take a look inside the book.' SHE, is a "Living Library."

So why do I title this --- up all night --- ???

I, thanks to Jaclyn, started reading --Love Walked In -- by Marisa de los Santos

and last night, I couldn't put it down! I started the book ages ago (see this is why I'm not in a book club), and had a little trouble in the beginning. The book just starts. You know, like you're right in the lives of the characters and it isn't until later that you get a lot of the background info on who, what, where, when, why. In the middle/end of the book, DRAMA happens and I just couldn't help but keep reading. So, last night, I just wanted to lay in bed and read. To be kind to my husband, who had to work today, (yes, work on a Saturday) I turned the lights off, put on my running headlight,

(yes, folks, I was that desperate and wanted to stay warm andcozy in my bed, I didn't want to have to get up just because I was reading a book) and I read until I finished the book. LOVE. I'm a fan of the book, I was desperate enough to stay up all night and wear a headlight for crying out loud to finish, AND now I'm on my way out to get the next book by Marisa de los Santos --- Belong To Me ---

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

January 18th

Can we be over-scheduled? It's the 18th of the month and I feel like so many things have already happened this month and there are so many more things that will occur. I don't know how the rest of the world does it. I mean, I'm young (relatively), in pretty good shape (ok just decent shape I suppose), work (but NEVER bring work home, no thanks), and married (but no kids), How is it that I'm busy?

If you ask me what I do, I cannot tell you. If you ask me if I have time, I have none.

I'm not complaining, I'm just curious. How can I be busy?

A few quick things...

`I love that I work just 8 miles away from home. I don't love that I drive on Interstate 580 to get there, but there are definitely worse things in life.

`It's been 5 months of marriage, 11 years of knowing each other and we still have things to learn about each other. Life is good.

`My family and my now extended family (which goes in lots of directions), ROCK.

`Friends pretty much help the world go round.

`I think about carb-o loading daily, for what? That mystical run that I'm going to do...right... NO, let's be honest, I could live off carbs if I could! Though I never feel that great when that's all I eat.

`I want to be crafty. I feel like I should have a knack for that. My latest adventures with crafts are...

1. Homemade jam and jelly.

2. Cute girlie hair clips.

3. I'm currently working on a cute tote, and I want to start making my own skirts.

`Shoes were made for walking in. I have too many shoes to walk in. I may have a problem.

`I need more than 1 closet for my things. I know I have a problem

`Heat. Done and done. I slept in a sleeping bag a few nights cause I couldn't handle the cold. Thank you Husband for putting in our pellet stove!!!

`Even though there are moments that bring me down, I'm really blessed.

Mooving along, just get them shoes on and go!

For those of you who actually read this, and know me, you'll remember that I ran my first half marathon way back when, October 2010 to be exact.

I trained for almost 9 months and honestly enjoyed it! (what the heck was wrong with me?) I loved the race, it was awesome! I have to say that I promised myself this wouldn't be the last race I ran either.

Well, by the looks of the date... it's been OVER a year and I haven't been in a race. I had an interesting experience when running the Nike Women's Half in SF. It pretty much scarred me from running... but I'm BACK in the game and training all over again!!!! The race will be in October, which gives me plenty of time to train AND the best part...

I'VE GOT RUNNING BUDDIES! YEP, REAL RUNNING BUDDIES!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!

Now, if anyone else is interested, just let me know, I'm all about having more people get in on the run! I'm totally pumped, and even started a training schedule -- sweeeeeeet.

I do, want to start a "running team name" as of now I have my Gmail Calendar for running under "moovlikejagger" only because that was my "power song" when I was running the other day. I don't think the boys on the team will go for that name, plus it's not totally original, SOOO back to the drawing board, any suggestions?

HAPPY 2012

There are a few things I know to be true:

* Everything happens for a reason. I'm not saying that I agree or understand what happens, I just know it is all for a purpose. Sometimes I later find the meaning and sometimes I don't, and I'm coming to terms with that.

* Love is real.

* We all have a purpose, and I'm convinced that MOST of the people I hold so dear, I met in the pre-existence.

* Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, IF you're on the wrong side of the sarcasm. I'm a fan of being on the RIGHT side.

* Music was created for all the emotions, and there's nothing wrong with listening to a song a million trillion times over, if that's just how you feel. I also find it totally OK to dance like you've never danced before to a song you listen to a million trillion times over.

* Your hobby does not completely define you, it is just an extension of who you are in that space of time. I'm pretty sure I've had thousands of hobbies, and looking back it's really about what road I was on, my goals, my wants. I don't think a hobby has to be permanent.

* Technology RULES... most of the time. Technology STINKS when: it doesn't work, you don't want it to work, too much information is shared, when you want to be alone... you get the picture, we've all been there.

* A woman (even tho I'm still a girl) needs to have her time. Her time to veg, her time to cry, her time to laugh, her time with her girls, her time to conquer everything, her time to go crazy, her time to sing, her time to sleep, her time to play, her time, she needs her time.

* We WILL be together forever, there IS a plan.

* Y2K all started in 1999 - what the? Where has time gone? ... oh well, WELCOME 2012!

30 days of Thanksgiving!

Let's be positive and share 30 days of things we are thankful for.

#1 I am grateful for a wonderful family! I don't know what I would do without them, especially my mom. I look up to my mom for all that she has endured and all that she stands for. My mom and I are quite different than one another, but we are so close. Thank you mama!!!

#2 I am thankful for a husband who is supportive of me daily. No matter the day, time, emotion, or reason, he's there. Thank you hubby!

#3 FRIENDS! I am so grateful for you all- you know who you are.

PS-- I'm going to update more tomorrow, with pics, and this may change completely---who knows, until then, I have to go to sleep!